Burst out the bubbly (in these recessionary times, pink Andre) and get ready for Bean Screen's first annual Oscar drinking game. The rules are simple:
Take a sip each time the following things inevitably occur at this year's award ceremony (commences when Hugh Jackman steps on stage). Winner is determined by greatest number of sips.
-Someone mentions the bailout, the recession, or an opening for a commerce secretary
-Presenters are paired oldest to youngest, a la Benjamin Button
-Presenters are paired potentially gay to obviously gay, a la Milk
-Winner thanks India or Harvey Weinstein
-Winner's speech is interrupted by music swell prompting winner to blurt out unintelligible list of names
-Someone remarks at length of ceremony
-Or length of "Australia"
-A gown inspired by Michelle Obama
-A hairdo inspired by Sarah Palin (or worse, Blagojevich)
-Amy Adams wears a strapless dress
-Mickey Rourke forgot to do laundry
-Close-up on smug couple Pitt/Jolie
-Phillip Seymour Hoffman brings his mom
-Riff on classic line, "I see a lot of new faces tonight. New faces on old faces."
-Paul Newman is the last frame in "in memory"
-Someone answers a cell phone or seems to be fiddling with a blackberry
-Boring clip montage
-Bollywood dance number
-Wall-E wheels on stage
-Dick Cheney wheels on stage
-Meryl Streep is wearing pants
-Kate Winslet is holding index cards
-Richard Jenkins is mistaken for a seatfiller
-Wins for Slumdog
-Losses for Button
-Cheers for our new president
-Boos for Prop 8
-Dress weighs more than actress
-Statue weighs more than actress
-Appearance by nerdy Pricewaterhouse accountants
-bellkicks by Hugh Jackman
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